Aaron's Real Life
Hello. My name is Kimberly Wolf. As an Argosy fangirl, I want to tell you about an experience I will never forget.
It was around Christmas of 2013. The Aaron reboot show had just came out, and I watched it on a daily basis. I probably thought I would like a DVD of the original series. Since my husband was home and I wanted to be quick, I decided to go to Cumberland Farms. If you don't know about this chain, it's like a convenience store, and the one nearest to me, has a DVD rack. I filed through the DVDs until I finally found one. It had a normal cover, which said, "The Aaron Show: Great Adventures". I wrapped it, labeled it "Santa", and put it under the tree for myself. What I learned was that the cover was normal, but the DVD wasn't.
On Christmas Eve, we had our Christmas party we have every year. When we opened our presents, I opened that DVD I got. I thanked "Santa" for it. But I didn't watch it until Christmas day.
So now I have all my presents opened. My husband wanted to watch the EVD to check if it was safe, because of all the stories of cursed Aaron tapes online. He has his own DVD player for his TV in his shed, so I popped the DVD in the player and left him to watch it. When he came out of his shed, he screamed.
As my 5-year-old daughter always has to assume everything she says is right, she unsurprisingly said, "Daddy, it was probably nothing."
But I could see it in his eyes. He looked pale like snow, his eyes were very tired, his lips were dry, he looked exactly like he had a fever. I told myself, "Don't worry. There is nothing to be scared about." But there WAS something to be scared about, Aaron's real life.
I took the DVD out of the DVD player and sent my daughter to bed. "Hmm..." I wondered," What is so bad about a DVD that says Great Adventures?" Well I was about to find out.
At 10:00 pm, It came to my conclusion to test the video, even though I considered smashing it into bits for a while. But anyway, I found a portable DVD player I got on eBay and put the DVD in there. But before I actually did, I examined the DVD. It was a DVD that you use to record things with or burn other videos on. Written on the DVD it said "Aaron's Real Life" in red marker. "Why is this not an Argosy DVD?" I whispered to myself. Anyway, I put it in the player.
The DVD started, and showed the Cairo Pictures logo. The difference was, it had that fanfare instead of being silent, as the DVD logo was. I liked to hum the fanfare, so I did. But it seemed to get off key at the end. "Uh, that was creepy," I thought. Anyway, it had a MTM logo which made me jump. Guess what it was, the kitten being beat with a whip mercilessly. Who in their dirty minds would do this? Did they think this, as in animal abuse, was a joke?
The theme song started. It was the theme in the earlier episodes, but with many changes. The song sounded perfectly fine, but here are all the changes. The school doors were brown and opened with a creaking noise, the school classroom had a sign saying,"I have no one to talk to, help me", Aaron's room was dimly lit, Koko was replaced with some kind of dark shadow, and lastly the intro had nobody except Aaron, which made me feel uneasy, then when it showed the logo, Aaron looked depressed, he pretended to smile, but his eyes told everything, almost like the expression of someone about to hang his/herself.
The episode started with a text saying,"Seattle, King County, State of Washington, United States".It featured a house, which I assumed was Aaron's. It seemed rusty and boarded up, it had toys scattered all over. It zoomed into a front window that featured a messy bedroom with chipped wallpaper. The bed had an unkempt Aaron with ratty fur. He woke up and said,"Hi, Sam". Then he pulled out a stuffed cat resembling Sam and said, "Hi, Aaron." Sam was actually a stuffed animal?
Aaron continued on," Sam, I need your help. Will you help me find something to do?........You will?" Then after he got upstairs, he told his parents he was going out, but they weren't answering. Aaron just continued and said," I think I know where we can go. Here's a map of the whole city... I didn't know there was a nuclear waste dump."
Aaron pulled out a scribbled on piece of paper and whispered," Lord, please help me change this world, Amen".
Aaron walks for a few yards, then randomly goes down a path. He hums the theme song while waling down a hill. He randomly stops and says,"I finally made it to the bus stop..."
Suddenly, a homeless cat-man is on the screen with Dora. He looks in his mid-fifties, very filthy with a long, frizzy beard. He then says to Aaron,"¿Tienes algo de dinero? (Do you have some money?)"
Aaron then beams and says, "Hey, Salli."
The man then says,"¿Qué demonios estás diciendo niño? ¿Por qué siempre tiene que hacer esto todos los días !? (What the hell are you saying, kid? Why do you always have to do this every day!?)"
Aaron is obviously confused and says," I love you, too."
The man then says, "Arde en el infierno. (Burn in hell.)"
Then Aaron pretends to get on a bus. Suddenly, a man came up and started swearing. Aaron said very scared, "Leave me alone!" The man then shoved Aaron and his Sam doll was sent flying. Aaron's knees were gushing blood from scraping on the concrete, and Sam had a tear in him. Aaron mimicked Sam saying "ouch!"
After that little strip of conflict, Aaron said, "I feel so alone, should I end it? What is life?" He started to tear up and silently cry, while walking to the "school". When he finally got to the school, he was extremely worn out. His eyes were red from crying, he had blisters on his knees from the man's attack, and his Sam doll was dirtier. Aaron then walks up to the screen and says," I need to confess, these adventures... were never true. Sam was my stuffed animal all my life. Salli is a homeless man who s*d*mized me when I was little. Koko is an old woman who wants to kill me, and all the others, were never real. I never had friends, I had to make up my own. I did everything, until now. I can't keep going anymore. I'm sorry."
The screen stayed black for a while. I was about to eject the DVD until the screen faded white and read,"3 days later" It faded to a forest. It revealed to be that on one tree, you can clearly see a decayed Aaron, with intestines dangled in a grotesquely real fashion, blue-colored fingers, gouged out eyes, and other disgustingly real features.The Sam doll was near the tree, he had many rips in his fabric and stuffing was popping out. A note on the tree read,"The Lord has saved me from this bad death hell of a place. Suicide is your escape."
The picture got more distorted until the scene changed to a news cast saying," Earlier this week, a twelve-year-old boy named Aaron Moncton was found on a noose in a forest in Washington State, and is believed to have commited suicide. Beside him was his stuffed doll and suicide note. He was the star of the beloved TV show "The Aaron Show". We will all miss him dearly in our hearts." The odd thing was that the news reporters, which were a cat-man and a cat-woman. sounded just like Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons from Family Guy.
Then, the intro played again. The camera panned and revealed a coffin behind the house. Where the earlier shadow was is now where the Sam doll is. The sign in the classroom said "suicide is your escape."
The words echoed in my mind.
The screen faded to black and that was it. I kept the DVD in my closet and still keep it in there today so my two children don't see it. But anyway, I burnt the video onto my computer and emailed Argosy, saying how inhumane to make an animation like that out of a children's cartoon. I also attached the video to the email. They actually told me that they made it in 2003 because they wanted to make the show more realistic, but it got scrapped due to negative response from test viewers.